Time for some honesty…
When I started this blog, I had visions of grandeur. As, I write this I realize I don’t even know how to spell grandeur. I thought that if I started a blog about all the travel adventures I went on, I would miraculously start going on more adventures. Well, here’s the thing about being a reluctant risk taker, emphasis on reluctant. You reach a point where you realize you bore even yourself with your so-called “adventures.”
Adventures are supposed to be adventurous. They are supposed to change you and connect you to people you wouldn’t otherwise know. The way to do this is not by starting a blog and hoping you start taking more adventures, the way to do this is by living an adventurous life. One that is free from risk, is free from excitement. So, how do you start to live an adventurous life? You take risks. Sometimes I do this and those risks don’t pan out, perhaps that is why I am so reluctant to take risks now as a thirty-one-year-old woman who has never owned anything more expensive than a car. I have never owned a home, in fact, I have hardly even lived on my own. So here’s the question I ask myself… Does this make me a fraud?
I have to be honest there are many times that I feel the answer to this question is yes. I don’t take risks in life, love, or career very willingly. I have become comfortable with being disappointed in myself. I am content to live through the lyrics of a Joni Mitchell or Carole King song and sit in my room. So, many of us know we don’t want the lives we lead, we know there is more out there for us, but we don’t know how to go get it. Short of quitting my job and cashing out my 401K, I’m not sure I know any better than anyone else how to change my life in the way I want it to look. Since, I’m a RELUCTANT risk-taker, I’m not very likely to do that. So, what do I do?
Well, I start by being honest. Honestly, I long for adventure. I long for a life that others want to read about. I long to be the kind of person who others want to be like, and I long to be the kind of person you, my dear reader wants to be friends with.
Rather than focusing on these longings, I know I have to do one thing to change, LIVE!
Living life is the only way to do the things I listed above, but living life can seem so mundane and so tiresome. How can I be an adventurer who never goes on any adventures? How can I have so many high hopes of grandeur and never live them out? How? Because I’m human.
Coming to grips with my humanity is perhaps the greatest adventure I will ever embark upon. I’m reminded of a line from Hook where Peter says it best. “To live will be the greatest adventure.” Living the life right in front of you with all its messiness, all its mundanity, and all its difficulty, this is how adventures are made. If you are like me and you seek adventure, and keep thinking to yourself, “Someday, I will…” Let me be honest friend, you and I never will… Like Isaac Marion said, “I want to change my punctuation. I long for exclamation marks, but I’m drowning in ellipses.” Life is in the ellipses unexplored. My fellow adventurers we have to stop drowning in the ellipses and have to start changing our punctuation. And, and the only way to do that is to take our ellipses and banish them. We have to do, not wish. We have to live, not wait. We have to take the life we have and make our days count by doing what we want to do with our lives.
As I said before, short of quitting my job, I’m not exactly sure how to do this. So, starting small I will pick one thing each week to change about my life and write about it. I will pick one adventure to have or write about one mundane thing that turned into an adventure. One thing I’m sure of is that life is not meant to be survived, but it is meant to be lived. Too long I’ve been in survival mode, and now I’m ready to live.
I apologize for missing it before, our lives are the adventure. The adventures aren’t our lives. I connect with the music of Joni Mitchell and Carol King, not because their music tells of the adventures they took in their very interesting lives, but because it explored the facts of life, and how we all feel regardless of the adventures we’ve gone on. We each have a story to tell, we each have people who we love, places we’ve gone, experiences that have changed us. We all have these stories, and the stories are in the life we lead not in the adventures we go on.
Forgive me for remaining silent on my blog because I thought I had nothing to say or because I’ve gone a while without an adventure, when all along, the adventures were out there waiting for me to just show up in my own life. How do you show up in your life? How do you live the adventure we all have set before us? What one thing are you wishing would change in your life, when all along you just need to wake up and change it? I don’t know the answers on how to help you do all these things, but I will do my best to explain how I answer these questions for myself, as I work to show up for my own life and my own adventure.
Here is my new adventure…
I am going to live. I am going to pick one thing every week that I want to change about my life and change it. I will document this journey both here and through a book that I started writing today.
If anything I’ve said has struck a chord with you then sign up below to be on my email list and I will send the first 100 people a PDF copy of my book free of charge when I complete it.